My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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