these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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