and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize