Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
