I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
