i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
