just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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