Banned from zoo.
Again?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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