I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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