Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
