the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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