omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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