Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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