i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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