if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I queefed so loud it echoed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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