I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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