I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
