we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
