love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
