they need to just BURY HIM!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
