I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
