You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
