So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
