whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
