Sponge bath it is.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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