like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
