Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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