Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize