you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
