i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
