Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
