dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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