I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
