shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
