the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
