Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
