did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
