There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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