My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize