would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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