College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
