I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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