hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
