how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
