Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
