My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
