Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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