i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
