Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
