we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
