i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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