6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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