You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
