Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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