At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
