Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
