So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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