i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
