bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
