Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
